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18 April 2009 @ 10:05 pm
Run Away with Me?  
I think I should sell my lolita wardrobe and get out of the fashion for good. I feel like I'm being selfish and wasteful when I buy new clothes or any lolita accessories. I don't feel pretty anymore either, at least not in the way that I used to feel when I dress up. Although, I am still in love with the aesthetic of lolita and fascinated by j-fashion, I fell it just doesn't suit me. I wish I could say that it was because I wanted to be more responsible with my finances, but really it's just to fill other selfish wants. What I really want is to travel. I want to be anywhere but where I am.

I fear that I'll never be content with where I am and that I'll always just want to go somewhere else. Whenever I feel unhappy, angry, upset or when I just get bored, I feel the need to leave. Just pack up and pick a spot on the map. I don't think it will just solve everything that's happened or make it better, but maybe I can forget it or pretend it never happened. I don't necessarily think there is anything wrong with other people wanting to move around, but I feel selfish for it. I wish I knew what I wanted, or at least how to make myself feel better.

I hardly ever post and I already feel like this is too much el jay. Shut me up, I need to go and read a fucking book!!!

Does anyone have any good reads to suggest?
Current Mood: highhigh
Current Music: Battle of Mice- Sleep and Dream
ジュリアlockandkey on April 19th, 2009 03:14 am (UTC)
I know how you feel about wanting to move away. I would love to live somewhere different like San Francisco, Colombia, Paris, Amsterdam, or japan. Kind of random places but I really hope I get to travel someday.
that_chick13that_chick13 on April 19th, 2009 04:28 pm (UTC)
I have a few of the same places in mind actually. I'm really aiming to save up enough to travel next summer. I just want to take the entire summer and just leave.
ジュリアlockandkey on April 19th, 2009 04:37 pm (UTC)
oh man that would be so amazing.
Shirley * Coolest Bitch In Town *xpolkapunkx on April 19th, 2009 03:37 am (UTC)
I see what you mean. Ive been also thinking of just selling all my lolita. I could make a hefty sum and atleast go visit japan for a few weeks.

And about the selfish thing, So what? be selfish. Its your life and your young. travel be happy cause in 5 years or so life is going to get so serious that you would kill to be able to do those things.
p.s. dont sell your stuff till we alteast hang out 1 more time! ♥
that_chick13that_chick13 on April 19th, 2009 04:48 pm (UTC)
I think I'll hang on to all of my stuff until I'm ready to travel. I'm aiming for next summer, so I'll just sell as much as I need to cushion my savings(which is zero right now XD).
lotusxlotusx on April 19th, 2009 07:49 am (UTC)
Honestly, I think you're perfectly suited for lolita & j-fashion in general and would hate to see you leave it. But if it doesn't make you happy then you gotta do what you gotta do. Since you're feeling selfish, if you have the time, perhaps instead you could do some local volunteer work instead.

As for the need to leave, I dislike it a lot too where I'm at right now and just want to leave and go see the world. I know how you feel about wanting to get away from the unpleasantness but moving just to forget or pretend it didn't happen isn't the answer either. You'll wind up running for the rest of your life and probably keep encountering the same problems over and over. As for figuring out what you want, shit, I still don't know what I want half the time and I'm 25 already x_x The only thing I can say that I've found is it's the people I'm around who really make things enjoyable so... find new people? Get the hell away from the bad ones?

As for book suggestions, do you have any preferred genres?
that_chick13that_chick13 on April 19th, 2009 04:44 pm (UTC)
I prefer Distopian themes, but I haven't sat down and read a book in so long that I'm open to almost anything. As long as it isn't Twilight or anything remotely like it XD
lotusxlotusx on April 20th, 2009 10:56 pm (UTC)
lol gotcha. These are on my future reading list but I've also heard good things about Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro, Parable of the Sower by Octavia Butler, The Giver by Lois Lowery, and CivilWarLand in Bad Decline by George Saunders. The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho is a good read. Like evedestroys, my bent is more towards fantasy books though. I really liked Trudi Canavan's Dark Magician trilogy. I also finished Jacqueline Carey's Kushiel's Dart series not too long ago and it was quite enjoyable.
Teh Evie-chanevedestroys on April 19th, 2009 02:11 pm (UTC)
: D I hope this is not a long winded response.

Okay, I texted you about this but seriously....you are one of the most beautiful lolitas I know!!!! I love your style and when you dress in it you look so natural. It's just like it was meant for you....anyways I'll support whatever you wanna do because first and foremost we're friends but just felt like voicing my opinion...

In regards to traveling, as I said I don't feel you really have to choose one or the other. You just need to budget wisely. Perhaps try and find other sources of income as well. You're so young, so don't feel like if you don't do it NOW it won't ever happen. I honestly think (based on seeing people around me) it's easier to travel as an adult than as a young'un like you. Having a stable job is important.....at least to be able to have something to depend on....or to use it to save a bunch and move somewhere. I agree with lotusx about how running away doesn't usually solve the problem. Trust me I've been there. In the past few years I have lived more place than I wish to say....and even though it was awesome seeing new places and meeting new people, it sucked not having ties to anyone or having something or someone to come home to....be it family, friends, whatever. Perhaps it'd help a lot if you moved out on your own and got a place with friends. It was honestly the best thing I've done. The freedom I felt (even though I was sort of broke) was amazing. I finally had my place in the world where I was my own boss. Where no one could bother me. Where I could escape to if I needed to. : D

Lastly....books...hmmmhmmhmmhm.....I am currently reading A Song Of Ice And Fire and finding it truly amazing. Also, even though I'm not THAT big of a Stephen King fan....The Dark Tower series is most definitely worth reading : D Those are both fantasy books though....my favorite genre.
that_chick13that_chick13 on April 19th, 2009 04:35 pm (UTC)
Thanks for your support^^ I'll hold off on selling my things until I'm ready to travel and I'll do my best to budget. Hopefully I can find a second job over the summer too.
that_chick13that_chick13 on April 19th, 2009 04:46 pm (UTC)
Oh, and I love the Dark Tower series. I read them when they first came out and I loved them.
Lee, lye, and roseblack_cheshire on April 19th, 2009 02:27 pm (UTC)
You're always welcome to join me an kevin on our boat. :D We're getting the hell out of here!
Lee, lye, and roseblack_cheshire on April 19th, 2009 02:30 pm (UTC)
oh, ps, you already know I think you're the cutest loli evar. :_: Keep a few dresses, and we'll be loli pirates or something. XD
that_chick13that_chick13 on April 19th, 2009 04:33 pm (UTC)
Haha, yep. Real pirate-loli FTW! When I was living in St. Augustine I had a few friends who lived on boats and traveled a lot. My bf lived on a boat for a while.
I would love to go sailing off with you guys, where ever ya'll go^^
Lets make some real concrete plans soon.
lolita_oneesanlolita_oneesan on April 20th, 2009 12:31 am (UTC)
I feel the same way all the time. I think all my hobbies are super-selfish, but I can't seem to quit them, I just keep adding more, lol. Traveling is fun, and is supposed to be good for character building, so if you want to do it, go for it! You don't have to completely give up everything else though... just cut back a little. Also, having a home is important, but your home isen't a place so much as the people with you, like lotusx said. Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is to follow your heart.